Chagrin Valley Times

http://www.chagrinvalleytoday.com/viewpoint/article_11d04fe8-1ccb-11e8-95cf-4b935dddad83.html

Imagining park board Q&A

As we turn on our old time radio we hear the tones of the station identification and call letters. Then up swells the theme music and the audience is cued to applaud. The host steps up to the microphone and says, “Hello everybody and welcome to ‘It’s Make-Believe Time,’ the game in which the judge’s park board pretends to answer carefully selected and edited questions that they pull out of a hat. So let’s get started.” 

“Our first question comes from John Scopes.”

He asks,“Is it true that you’re planning on buying an 8-foot bronze statue of the judge riding a snowmobile and then placing it in the center of the planetary exhibit at Observatory Park?”

“No that is not true. It will be 10 feet. And might I say, the snowmobile program has been a great success.”

“OK next question” (As a question is carefully pulled out the hat) while another park board member remarks “Come on come on I don’t have all day.” 

The question  is pulled out and a park board members squeals, 

“EEK! I can’t read this on the air.”

The question disappears and the next question is quickly chosen from the hat. 

“Here’s one from Ms. Ima Parklover. She writes, ‘I love the parks, I love everything about the parks except the bears. Why are those Protect people bringing bears into the park? It makes me afraid?’” 

“Well don’t worry Ms. Parklover we’ve taken care of the bears and we’re working on those pesky Protect people too.”

(Theme music comes up) “Well that’s all the time we have for ‘Make-Believe Time,’ the program where we pretend to answer your questions. Tune in next month when the judge’s park board will choose from some carefully selected questions and then try not to answer them. This is your host Tim E. Dation reminding you that we’ll spend your park tax money however we please.  If you’d like to be part of our live studio audience, come to a park board meeting and remember, don’t speak. We’ll see you next time.”

Dave Partington 

Munson Township